She woke up in the middle of the night unmindful of the time. She forced herself out of bed and took small steps towards the window which faced towards the main road. She stood there looking at the bare road, holding the window palings, completely lost. Her agony was relentless and unfathomable.
Her body felt weak and her mental and emotional hurt was denser than the physical and she was convinced, not a soul in the world had ever suffered as much as she was. She dreaded sunlight, the once vivacious bird full of life didn’t find any resolve waking up in the morning, would cry for no reason, she lost her appetite and found no determination in life. She could not help herself to come out of the trauma, as she herself was clueless what was happening deep inside her mind.
Tears started rolling down her cheeks , she felt she was left in the middle of nowhere despite living with family and having great friends around. She wept brokenheartedly wiping her painful tears for as long as she felt she wanted to and momentarily felt better by bringing out her mysterious , irrational emotion. She walked back to her bed to catch up with some sleep , only to realise time was half past two in the morning . Fortunately, with this mind frame, she was blessed to realise this despair can lead to suicide in a fraction of second and convinced herself she will win over this conflict between heart and mind.
She stood in front of the stove post breakfast making her much-loved lemon tea, as usual lost in thought and tears rolling down her cheeks. Her family probably was sick and tired of her and her breakdowns, she got back to her senses only when the lady of the house yelled her lungs out, “Did the roofs come down? Why the hell those tears? You are so sick in our lives and god damn fed up!
She trembled, she froze, she stood dazed, she suspected if they were truly her family for what she heard, her spines went weak and was nearly in the verge of collapsing down to the floor. She cried inconsolably holding on to the stove as a support , unaware tears were rolling down right into the tea. By now her favourite lemon tea had turned into a “Teary Tea”.
Please! Do not slay me more with your hurtful words. Am not feeling ok! Don’t I have the liberty to be myself in front of my own family and be open on my emotions? Am I getting treated this way just because I came out of someone else’s womb ? What if it was your own daughter who was battling this cancer called DEPRESSION?
The least she was expecting from her family was compassion, some comforting words to lift her up and to give her the confidence, we are there for you. They were happy and comforting the days when she was happy and full of life and was proud while she had a promising career. Now that she is fighting her battle, the so called affectionate tight knit family lacked empathy. They stereotyped her to a deadly extent that the lady grew inhumane and heartless and tried separating her from her husband too. Her depression was treated as a taboo and was ashamed of her in the society.
She woke up the following morning with a resolution to fight her own battle and support the depressed souls who was stereotyped. She visualised hundreds of scenarios that passed through in her life and she knew she had to seek help from a counsellor to make her happy, confident and independent for a new beginning.
Disclaimer : This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.